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When I was a teenager I was something of a nerd (I know, who would believe it?). This is a thread about the beginning of my career in journalism: specifically, when I was made the editor of my school magazine, aged 14.Permalink On twitter.com
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On my lunch breaks I volunteered in the school library, partly in order to get first dibs on newly-arrived sci-fi/fantasy novels. This put me in close proximity to the librarians, a trio of middle-aged women who oversaw the publication of "Word4Word", the school magazine.Permalink On twitter.com
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I was already an aficionado of publishing, having designed, drawn and distributed my own comic as a precocious 11 year old with access to my mum's work's photocopier. I eagerly bided my time, waiting for Word4Word's current editor to pass on the baton.Permalink On twitter.com
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One glorious day, the message arrived: the librarians had decided to award me the editorship. FINALLY. I decided to mark my helmsmanship of the title by immediately changing its name. This was 2001! I renamed it to something befitting the modern era: Word.comOn twitter.com
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There was an obligatory rebrand: if an article didn't feature at least six different forms of WordArt, it wasn't going in. I culled underperforming features ruthlessly: first to go was the multi-page Star Wars fanfiction by that weird guy from Maths.Permalink On twitter.com
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(James, if you ever see this, I'm really sorry about dumping your column - I confess now that we were kindred spirits at heart but the demands of my role were such that I could not betray the slightest flicker of hesitation when revamping the magazine)Permalink On twitter.com
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I introduced competitions: we gave away my mate's old copy of Tomb Raider III on CD. I created a regular column revealing unsolved mysteries about some of the teachers! This was quietly dropped a few weeks after we wrote about Mrs. Golding's missing finger.Permalink On twitter.com
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But my biggest editorial change was aimed at the real target of my candidacy: the Messages. Every week, I helped hawk the magazine to my fellow schoolkids by carrying stacks of it into classrooms and selling them for 20p each. Kids bought copies solely for the Messages.Permalink On twitter.com
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This was pre-SMS, let alone social media. If you wanted to tell a kid in your Geography class that you fancied them, you had to pay to put a 15 word message in the school magazine and wait a week to see if the object of your affection reciprocated.Permalink On twitter.com
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The Messages were always printed in the centre spread. Every week I was devastated to see my schoolmates throw 20p at us, discard the witty journalism of their peers (except the Star Wars fic, sorry James) and flick straight to the Messages in the middle.Permalink On twitter.com
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My plan was devastating in its brilliance and simplicity: we would scatter the Messages throughout the magazine, mixed in with all the regular features! The readers would discover all the brilliant content we were publishing at the same time they arranged their lunchtime snog!Permalink On twitter.com
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Even today, a grown adult, I sometimes wake at night remembering the scenes of anger and abuse directed at my person as the pupils discovered what I had done. "WHERE'S THE MESSAGES?" everyone would shout after flicking to the spread. "On all the pages!", I beamed, in fear.Permalink On twitter.com
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People demanded their money back. Someone ripped up the magazine in defiance of my editorial stance. I think one of my staff (er, the girl who wrote star signs) resigned in solidarity. This was my Wapping. I had overreached.Permalink On twitter.com
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We quietly changed the name of the magazine back to Word4Word. The Messages were returned to their former location. I think we even had to let James write an irregular Star Wars article. I had been humbled.Permalink On twitter.com
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Over the course of writing this thread, I've realised that most of my proper jobs have involved making the same kind of decisions, calculated risks, experiments and downright terrible ideas with newspapers and magazines. I don't know if this means I've learned my lesson or not.Permalink On twitter.com
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But I'm telling you this one thing because I had to have learned something, right?Permalink On twitter.com
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That Star Wars column really was shit. I'm sorry, James.Permalink On twitter.com